Being Positive isn’t something that I try to create; it’s a matter of survival. We all have things in our life that can weigh us down and fight to claim our joy, but if we let them win or if we let grief overcome us then we go down too. I guess I would say that my goal isn’t positivity or even joy for that matter, it is merely to stay useful and to never lose my edge and my outward mindfulness for the world. In order to do this and stay healthy I think it’s important to keep an outlet in your life to drain the toxicity that can accumulate inside of you over time.
Music is the outlet for me to express my emotions. My father passed away nearly three years ago. He was a man I trusted, respected, and loved. After a three year battle with lung cancer and brain tumors, his body couldn’t fight any longer. At the time that he died he had been my best friend, and someone invaluable, which made his death that much more devastating. During my father’s sickness and passing away I wasn’t trying to stay positive or evade reality, but instead I took on all of the weight of his death, and poured it forth as notes and lyrics. As a naturally more reserved and internal person, finding an outlet to express myself was an organic progression for my grieving process, and I was lucky enough to have the musical background to support my need.
Out of that progression of expression came something positive though, healing. I found that as time has moved on and I listen back on those songs that I wrote some years back, I get some sort of revelation as to why those things happened or how well I have progressed as a person since then, and I am encouraged. Sometimes when you are in the middle of something you can’ t see the purpose or the light at the end of the tunnel, but in this case my self expression became a sort of a bread crumb trail back to my true self and that has made it all a lot easier.