It can be hard to admit that we have landed ourselves in this type of cycle; however, this is where the power lies. If we can recognize how we participate in relationship problems, we can take action to resolve them. If the goal is love, than we must affirm love. The most effective way I know to do this is to recognize all the ways your partner expresses love for you, keeping in mind that this is probably different from how you would prefer or express your love for them.
For instance, my husband, Phillip, goes through periods where he works long hours at his job. This has the potential to create relationship problems because I would prefer he love me by being at home for dinner. The more I can shift my focus to recognize that by working long hours he is providing for our comfort and security, the more love I feel from him. When I appreciate the work he puts in and the style in which he cares for me, I feel more affectionate toward him and, in turn, him toward me. I know that he would prefer to be at home for dinner, but he works hard because he loves me.
So often, men and women express love differently. Love does not have to be all about candles, flowers, and sweet nothings, love can be expressed as taking out the garbage, repairing the car, washing the sheets, and making dinner. When you can bend your definition of love to everyday tasks, relationships transform.
I challenge you to take one week and make a list of all the ways your partner loves you, big and small.
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